Asylum

reasonforasylum

Well here I am again. While I think all the nurses and orderlies are really nice, I can’t stand to be here! It’s just not something I can get used to. A hospital stay is so much different from a stay at the “mental health institution”, it’s just different. Mental Health Institution is nicer than what it used to be called; like Insane Asylum, Asylum, Funny Farm, Lunatic Asylum and a host of other slang terms.

The nurses are short-tempered and really just trying to administer the drugs. The anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic, mood stabilizer, and mood stimulant medications. So really you are by yourself walking around in circles with the rest of the “Depressed” folks.  What drugs are used to treat depression? By the way “depression” is just a nicer word than Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Autism, Dementia and a host of other terms to describe a person’s mental status. Mental illness is so prevalent I guess it’s good they have just one word. Some of us have ALL of those disorders and more. If you are one of the lucky ones they have some great drugs to be prescribed. Like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, and then the cherry to tie it all together Lithium. For a year now I have been heating all of these up with a little electricity; (ECT) Electric Convulsive Therapy just like a little jump-start. I do this 1 to 2 times a week. Makes it hard to have a job ya know.  I guess it’s no wonder I don’t remember why I am here. I truly don’t remember how I got here.  If you don’t know what that is. In the old days if you committed any of the above offenses in the image, they would plug you in, put a halo on your head and light you up. Now they put you to sleep, and then they light you up. My prognosis? None. NO CURE. When things get bad I will get  a little jump-start. Hopefully I won’t end up back here before that happens. I want to help people who may have a loved one with a mental illness or if they themselves have one .

In this Blog you will hear the good the bad and the very ugly side of mental issues.

When I grew up it was not okay to feel or talk about things. I had to keep “mommies secrets” and just shut up and look pretty because no one really cared to hear  from me anyway. I was nothing. I got dealt the bad hand and nothing that happened to me was fair. But here I am Pretty Bananas. I am so tired of keeping quiet I have stuffed for so long and now it is coming out I just can’t stop it.  So let’s do this, empty the trash and have a laugh on the way all while staying pretty.

Can I just say that depression isn’t just feeling “sad” all the time, It’s:

  • not showering for three days straight
  • knowing you have dishes to clean
  • exams to study for, people to talk to but not DOING it
  • always feeling so EXHAUSTED
  • never getting out of bed
  • not being able to sleep
  • having no motivation to do anything EVER
  • hating every single part of yourself
  • recurring thoughts of ending your life
  • no concentration whatsoever
  • Memory??? ha ha ha that sh@t is gone

Stop portraying depression as just feeling “SAD” or “DOWN ” for a couple of days because there’s so much f@#king more to it. My name is Lisa and I am Pretty Bananas and I will tell you the truth about mental health so that maybe some day with enough exposure, there will be a cure, other than prescribing a bunch of different meds. One day I aim to live a drug free life, with no fear of relapse. I hope one day I will live a life with my husband on the farm with cows, plumeria trees and a Murphy too (name of the best dog I had to give up). Yup those will be the good days.

2 thoughts on “Asylum

  1. You’re right about what depression looks like-days without bathing or brushing feeling like you’re wearing a three hundred pound backpack and incapable articulating the jumble of spaghetti between your ears.. Hugs and prayers

    Liked by 1 person

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